A wilted person


I am tired and rather alarmingly slow today. I feel like a squeezed out piece of dried fruit. My bank account of energy is empty. An unusual state of being, but no regrets. We were showing at the Mind, Body, Spirit show in Victoria, and it was a riotous success. We had some great feedback and gave away several thousand catalogues, sold lots of mantra and DVDs and had great fun. I am blessed with assistants who have a sense of humour, thank God, or it would have been a distinctly dry affair.

I have come back to a certain element of chaos in the shop, but it is surprisingly comforting to be here alone and restore the order that I like. Little by little it is being returned to the way I like it to be.

I am taking the brazen step of some days off later this week. I am so much looking forward to it. The idea of a day spent playing with the children is so idyllic that I am loathe to ruin it with the reality of my presence! I seem to lack the gene for playing games. I say that, but as the children get older, the games improve and we did two good jigsaw puzzles this morning. That, I do enjoy. These were hard and had small pieces. It took time and effort and brought back memories of when I was a child and my parents always had an unfinished puzzle on a table in the sitting room. Monumental things that took days of patience to complete.

What ever happened to patience? No one seems to have any, any more. It is instant gratification all round. When I started Devotion, one of the first things I made was devotional tapestries. I thought it was such a great idea. No one else did. They sit in the box and wait for someone to think they are a good idea. Everything has to be instant now. Nothing can require time and patience to complete any more. If people want a tapestry now they buy a finished one made by some tiny Chinese person who is being paid a pittance to sit and fulfil their dreams of the visual manifestation of patience. Interesting times, as they say.

A last note about exhaustion. By yesterday I was struggling so I wore white. Kazam! Instant energy. Today I wore black and after five minutes had to change to white again to be able to get through the day. It is the first time I have genuinely felt the effects. I have always had enough shakti to over ride the negatives of black. But not this week. White all the way…