When did you stop being black and white?


I heard a great add on to my Now experiences. If you are new to reading my notes then the pr?©cis is that I have longed to be more present, with out fear of the future or pain from the past colouring how I experience Now. It is a long and tiresome journey that I have been on for about 16 years. Sometimes I crack it, but it is a fleeting victory.

I now work in India and it is the best experience of Now that one can ever ask for. Every moment is dicing with death; every sip of water, mouthful of food, step in the street, kilometre in a car is a brave and courageous step out of the comfort of our Health and Safety driven existence.

Until you want to do business. At that moment, always with men, the erotic charge they experience whilst taking your money is all that they live for. There is no long-term relationship. There is no idea of Sin or Punishment or needing to get it right this time, because they can all come back and do it over and over. Karma.

So the upshot of all this erotic charging is that I do not get my goods any where near the delivery date and all my desires to be here and now are basically pissed all over. Strong language, I know, but it really has made me question a lot of what I am doing.

Coming back to now, the CIA have discovered that lie detector tests do not work on Indians. Brilliant. There is no concept of sin and no pressure to do it all perfectly in this life hence no fear of giving the wrong answer! They have been madly recruiting before discovering this aspect. Who advises them, I wonder?

Isadora was getting ready for bed last night and I showed her a picture of me as a child, with my sisters, sitting in an Eames chair. It was a great picture, black and white. She looked at it for while and then turned to me a seriously asked me “Mummy, when did you stop being black and white?”