There’s nothing wrong with a little pain, Darling


Is a sentence that slips out of my mouth Oh, so easily and Oh, quite often.

I blame Hollywood for the idea that we are all owed sugar coated relationship, a seamless life and killing with no karma involved.

Trying to teach myself and my children that pain is involved in all aspects of life is a necessary evil. Strange that it should be evil, but it seems that it is.

We had friends over for lunch yesterday. None of them married, none of them with children. For some unknown reason the conversation turned in the direction of childbirth. It was not my turning, but there it was, dangling over the dahl, the question posed by a charming young woman: “would you really tell a pregnant woman that labour is painful? “

Frankly, yes. And I would embellish it with bells and lights, too. Why do we now fear pain, time, commitment and diligence? Where did all these essentials slide off to and why? I think I have to come sharply back to the reality that we are being sold by someone. The Government? Some Oligarc with billions of pounds stored away in HSBC? A newspaper tycoon in charge of dozens of mindless journalists? I cannot be sure. But I do know that reality (as I am sold it) and my life experiences seem to be at odds with each other and the distance seems to be expanding.

So I am living in another version of life where pain is real, my mind is a car crash, drugs do not work, I do smile at strangers and there is hope. Please do feel free to step off the train that we have all been rammed inside and experience another life that involves taking responsibility for yourself and your projections, the effect that you have on others, the effect that others have upon you, being open to others and believing in the future. It is fun, hard work too, but better than the bill we are being sold right now that involves a mindless numbness that cuts out all experiences that could engender growth, expansion and bliss.