The new member


We have a puppy. A small but perfect Labrador. My 5 year old daughter is manifesting maternal instincts that are almost scary and the two other dogs are highly put out.

We are only on day 1.5 and it is getting better, but the decision was not taken lightly. One of the original dogs is very old, so this is the transition so that he can relax and the very odd but lovely poodle discovers the joy of a puppy all of his own.

Right now he is no where near that place, but the new dog is only 9 weeks. We have 15 years for this to work out….

Otherwise I am in those places that web log cannot go. Those dark, personal, windy corridors where the impersonal dares not go, where secrets and personal reality lie breathing deeply. So there are long spaces in the writings. I think about what to say, but as I am still on News Blackout mode I have nothing to kick against, nothing to rail about, and no comments to make. It is a peaceful place for me, a change from the intensity of the past year where going into retail at a tie when the “world is about to end” seemed like a somewhat fool hardy step and I would watch the news avidly, read it with a burgeoning sense of gloom and doom that I carried with me through all the moments of my day.

I think I peaked in India, in January, and realised that if I did not take some drastic steps I would implode. I certainly felt close to internal combustion out there, alone, making huge choices by myself, again. Something had to stop, and as certain destruction was not up for negotiating I realised it was me that had to do something different.

That was early January. It is now mid March and I have learned a lot about me, my fears, my insecurities, how they feed, how they lack any compassion or kindness and need to be carefully managed. This is where I am now, the managing part. It is going well but is not for public devouring.

Back to the puppy.