The Joys of real life.


I wish I were more constant.

A year ago, an agent of mine, when I was a crazy Body Painter, told someone that I was Mercurial. I was upset at the time, but all these years later I can see her point.

But I also see that it is more than that.

The Independent on Sunday ran their last issue on Rehab. I was interviewed for it along with other people whose stories fitted their needs and what they wanted to say.
The link is

There is an interesting experience looming; a sex addict getting onto TV, being interviewed by an ex comedienne, about his downloading images of child pornography from the internet.

What great television. It is easy to see someone coming up with the idea over a drunken dinner. Chris Langham telling us that he was abused as a child so it is OK. Oh, how fabulous! Suddenly, because it is on TV, it is all fine and dandy.

His wife can go…., the woman he groomed until she was 16 can go….., the children who were photographed and their images used are also pushed aside whilst he gets to revitalise his career and at the same time there will be this frisson, an electrical edge to the proceedings because we are watching a program about the unmentionable: Child Abuse. But he was abused, so it is all fine. Frankly it makes me want to vomit.

Strong stuff, I know, but it should be said. Instead there are vicarious thrills by the bundle in the name of reality TV.

Addiction in all it’s forms is a terrible, painful and deeply mis-understood beast. It is a license to print money, in the form of a lot of the treatment out there, and we are endlessly pulled into it by life, the Media and TV. I also think it helps the government to manage us as a Nation. As a recovering addict I can say, with my hand on my heart, that living sober is challenging. And dealing with ones self, the moods, the thoughts and the fears, the insecurities and life’s sense of humour without madly acting out, getting drunk, taking drugs (even prescription ones, ) can feel like being tossed around in a huge sea with 4 meter waves. Incredible, amazing, wild, a million times better than acting out, but still huge.

So from that perspective, I think Mercurial is OK.