I had lunch with a friend today. Another “one of us”. (My husband’s grandmother was a devout catholic convert and would ask dinner companions if they were “one of us”. I am not a devout catholic, but a recovering addict/alcoholic and there is a sort of secret code. Usually is it “Are you on the firm?” Very NA. or “are you a friend of Bill’s” if it is AA. So my new version is the former, former.)
We were discussing the lack of meetings around Dulwich. Lots of lace curtains, so I am sure there are lots of alcoholics, but no where to go. I was saying I wanted to go to a meeting for weeks but had not been able to find the time. I had looked into what was around and none of it appealed. So awful to say that, but it’s true. After a while there is a need for a certain serenity. Sitting in a room listening to recovery is an intense experience, and not to be taken lightly. If there is no serenity and little recovery it is challenging.
We discussed the need for a good meeting and she suggested starting one in Dulwich. I found it such an empowered approach to the situation, I was taken aback. Funny what it takes, to take me aback. So that is what we will do. And it will be appropriate to the area; a tea time AA meeting. Just what Dulwich needs. We hope. Certainly what we need.
There is a lot going on at the moment. So many changes. I find writing this is quite a good way of shifting my responses to the more positive, but also getting gratitude really helps, and that comes from listening to others talking about what they have done, come through or face in real life. Sober living is very much in real time. I heard about someone today, as long clean as me who has relapsed and is well out there. Not on the road back to sober living at all. It is quite scary, because one realises how sacred recovery is. That it, like life and health, can be gone with the snap of the fingers. That from one moment to the next it is all so transient.
And I came back to living in the now. Nothing outside of this moment. Sure, have ambition, have a plan, but don’t spend your life between the past and the future, never being present to NOW. Endlessly dodging reality. Now is all there is. It is all that really exists. Everything else is memory trailed and carried on our shoulders and fear projected onto a screen in front of us. Right here is total perfection and infinitely dealable with.