I am going to France tomorrow.
It is not entirely under duress, but I am happy to make it seems so.
I have French relatives. I have resistance to French relatives.
I guess that if I keep up the weblog whilst I am away it could get a trifle negative. Yes, remember that I am doing 40 days of being positive. I need to remind myself, too.
Families, especially other peoples families are somewhat tricky, I find. I have no attachment to my husband’s feelings about mine, and expect him to have no attachment to how I feel about his. But life is not like that. Just because i feel something particularly open mindedly, it does not seem to follow that his feelings are similar. One of the joys of marriage. I find this crops up a lot.
I am going to work really hard to make it a holiday, is a statement pretty similar to “I really want to meditate” Especially when said in a very exasperated voice.
But I know I have to have really good boundaries. No expectations. Lots of patience and a big smile.
I thought of getting “expect nothing” and “nothing is personal” tattoed on my forearm to remind me constantly whilst there, that it is nothing to do with me. They are not my family. Such fun.
Today I am hosting a workshop with another teacher on Addiction and Yoga. I am very grateful for having been three days at the convention in Birminham. I think my favourite part was when we were sitting in groups flung all over the hotel, chatting intensly with total unknows and a man would lean forward and very sweetly say “when I was in prison for armed robbery”. It keeps turning in my head, the things we do, the places we go, where we have to come from.
I feel as though life is getting harder, more intense, thicker. It seems as though we are all trying to walk through thick mud. Time is speeding up and we cannot catch up with it. it is starting to roar past us and we feel constanly pulled, but stuck. Is it just me? i don’t think so.