I have not read the news for a couple of days and it is rather delightful to let go of it.
Endlessly drawn into reacting to all that one sees, I see, and then feeling a compunction to comment.
The dogs bark and the caravan passes.
I will even hold my tongue over gore Vidal and his concert.
Hard. My ego want to rail, but I am watching how I, too, like a baddie. There always has to be someone to blame. Where does that come from? The endless side stepping of responsibility for oneself and oneÄôs actions? It is remarkably hard to say, yes, I was wrong, yes, I am naughty, without smirking or being the victim, but just to stand there, hands still by oneÄôs side, openly admitting wrong. The next step is then to avoid being ever so Catholic about it and doing it again, but to learn from the humiliation/pain/loss/embarrassment/observation etc and not do it again.
Insanity is said to be the repeating of an action hoping for a different result. Well, that will be all of us, then, wonÄôt it? An insane world.
I just stood at the doorway of the shop watching one black man threaten another with a very large sword. Too many movies. More brave than anything was the punter in the caf?© who called the police and sat there pointing to them and describing what he had seen. I was amazed he was not shot there and then. Saturdays in Balham. I have yet to see a woman draw a sword on a woman. I know in the world of Kill Bill it is common place, but maybe I should go out more. See what is going on and see if it is all just cock-waving, testosterone driven thing or now part of our daily experience and women are in on the act, too. I will report back. The joy of it was that on the other side of the shop, on Bedford Hill, the Balham Carnival was trudging past with ladies in bikinis dancing on flatbed trucks. Big hair, big smiles, big hips. Very lovely.
My favourite moment this week was watching the very diminutive Mika in his new video about Big Laydies. He squirms and squiggles his way around yards of fleshy ladies in a attempt to get the female vote, I guess. Well thank you Mika. We all feel much better now.