May you live in ancient times.

566

My meditation, if that is what it is, of not listening to, reading, or watching the news is going very well. I had a minor lapse this morning when Radio 3 was just too out there and I switched to Radio 4 out of habit. My husband was rapidly given an opportunity to remind me that I had slipped, so I moved onto Asian Radio and did bhangra whilst making juice.

Do I miss the news? No. I do not. I am calmer, business is great and the world seems full of hope rather than smeared in blood. It is only day 4 or similar, but I intend to keep going with this plan.

I am getting back to my usual detoxified state now. I find I like chai and in India it comes stiff with applied sugar, rather like a punks spike, the teaspoon sitting up stiffly and the high, immediate. The combination of the chai, the sugar, the white bread, white rice, fresh lemonade and lack of sleep all add up to a somewhat challenging come down upon my return. A week later, I have not had sugar, wheat, chai or coffee and I feel OK.

So the combination of saying no to rubbish and no to nonsense is having a profound effect upon my reality. Why does it take so long to get it? I was 48 last week and I feel as though I am only just starting to behave anywhere resembling adult and it does not last, I promise, it does not last. I did once spend two weeks in India totally raw, 24 hours a day. It was the most self obsessed time I have spent in recovery. It is not on my list of experiences to repeat. I felt great, I did, I did, I was perfectly healthy and all was good. But did I feel the need to do it again? No. Far more interesting and human to go through withdrawing, highs, lows, cravings and over-indulgence. Arghh!

One thing that has slipped through the net against the news is the idea that China is supposed to stop all the problems in Dafur. I must be missing the edges because I cannot get why. And will they really miss Stephen Spielburg? I am not sure. But I cannot comment as I am out of touch.