I am, I am. I have a delightful pile of bills in front of me and I can endlessly think of other things to do.
I remember Louise (It must be exhausting to be so good) Hay saying that we must love our bills. Yeah! Right on! I am trying, very trying, and continually failing at loving my bills. Oh God! Does that mean I am failing on my path? Do I need help? Must I turn to yet another book to make myself find the answer that will change my life forever?
I am calmer now. I have to list all the bills outstanding. That should take a few minutes, then think about how to pay them…. another few minutes. Dive into fear and panic and low self esteem. Beat my chest, take a long deep breath and then start to write the cheques knowing that I will not post them till later next week.
Phew. All done until next month. Why is it not always so simple? I tried to expleain to Isadora this morning, that if she ate her breakfast and got dressed then I would not harrass her to do so. It is simple, just do those two things. Funny how we complicate ourselves from so young. I give her an hour in the morning to get fed, watered and dressed as a hippy chick and she will not participate as I want. That is what it is all about, the root of all anger and frustration; things not being how I want them. Bums.