Life is such fun.
I am reading the Secret and managing to apply the principles to pretty much all areas of my life, but God has a wild sense of humour, and not all my plans, well laid though they may be, have come to fruition.
This is causing me huge amounts of grief. Not in the “are you looking for a little grief? Sneering question, but in the Oh, My God, it is so painful kind of grief that has taken me by surprise and will not go away. And on top of it all I feel so responsible and should have seen it coming and ought to have known better.
I am not in need of a swathe of cheering up, I promise. But I suppose it is an attempt to give clarity to the space I have left in my recent writing.
I do not imagine I am the only person having a tricky time right now. I think we are all having deeply grating experiences of some sort. For some it is financial, others it is personal, yet more will be in spiritual crisis and of course there is an army out there who are totally unaffected. But my awareness is that at the moment all tools are needed all the time, be they emotional ones, meditative practice, a sense of humour, an open mind or an iron will. I seem to move through my panoply of options in random sequence, but almost all the time now, I am looking for something to help me stay grounded, be calm, keep smiling and so on.
So, yes, there is a lot of Argh, even though I am working on really positive projections.
I am going to France tomorrow, to the European Yoga Festival. 1500 Yogis all camping in a forest in France. It is a trip. I am looking forward to the experience even though I know what it can be like as this will be year eleven, I think. Yogi Bhajan always said that it is really important to lie on the ground, to sleep on the ground, to be out in Nature, and right now I do feel that it is what I need to bring some balance and perspective to everything. Gosh, how I need that now. My feelings are getting in the way of my reality. I know it happens to all of us, but I have peaked on it.