Not going my way…..

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I must confess I have had better days. Today is not going my way. That is OK, but I don’t like it. I am longing for today to be over. Not really longing, but impatient for a different cast on things.
I will not go into the whys. No need. But what is more interesting to me is how we always need someone else to be the bad one. Someone else to blame for our misfortune. We may start out admitting culpability, but pretty quickly we can push the responsibility elsewhere. I also find it rather mesmerising how much I try to minimise the bad, wrong, uncomfortable sensations. I want them to go away. I want to shift sideways out of feeling the way I feel into another reality. One where all is fine and I am not learning a painful lesson. The lesson is just seeing the insanity. What is the definition of insanity? repeating an action expecting a different result. I was repeating an action today and could not see it. After I saw, and there comes the pain.

Half term. What to do with children in Half Term. There are many very expensive options and many crowd filled ones, too. We have scalectrix under the kitchen table and a memory game on the floor in the sitting room. An evening of We will rock you is looming, as is Mary poppins…….