Oh, Joy, the first mango of the season was presented on my tea try this morning. I donÄôt for a moment imagine that it was the first mango to be eaten this year, by anyone other than me, but that it was my first mango this year. So delicious. A real treat.
Life goes on. I am going to a fabric warehouse this morning. More life changing decisions. I have taken to reading large amounts of Georgette Heyer novels to distract myself in between big choices. Very relaxing and amusing, she is too. I wish we still dressed, spoke and moved through life as her characters do. Closely followed by the corseted dresses in Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which I watched again last night. I find the way most of us dress so profoundly awful. But I am unable to do any more about it than make a range of very beautiful clothes and hope that it will stir something in people. I certainly and getting stirred! The stress is quite something at times. Yesterday it was 6 hours of yes, no, do it like this, wash it and show me again, lift this, change this, shorter, longer, widerÄ¶Ä¶. All by my self. No one to gainsay me.
When it finally comes over by boat, many months later, then I will really see the consequences of my choices.
I am commissioning some new malas at the same time. I saw the first samples this morning. Really awful. But the joy of being here is that they donÄôt take things personally and will just go and do it again.
I am really aware of the effects of Karma on this trip. The difference in the approach to life between eastern based religious experience and Western based. We take it all so hard. We think, deeply inside ourselves, that we have to be so perfect now. The east does not have this terrible pressure. Dishonesty is not personal, money need not be earned, there are more chances to get it right. Death happens and cows are sacred to some. Goats need jumpers when it is cold and flowers adorn every rock that could even vaguely resemble a God. It is delightful, chaotic and challenging.
The western way is order. Structure, stricture, rules, sin, punishment, censure, vitriol and deadly ambition. I know which way I prefer, but for now, with small children, I am based in the charm of the west.l