Getting used to order again


It is funny, almost surreal, the speed with which one moves from one world to another. Sit on an aeroplane for 9 hours and life is totally different. Almost as though it is a film set being changed around you but you cannot see outside porperly so you don’t really notice the new scenery and cast being moved in. You get off the plane the same person, a little shaken, but essentially the same, except nothing in your experience is similar. It is all different. I am intrigued by all that we take for granted, all that we just accecpt with out thought for what it really is.
I have spent a week away, in a very different land. Few responsibilities except for my own personal safety, and much of the time I had zero control over that, and now, with this transition of a few hours I have huge responsibility, a completely other life that moved along without me and I have just moved along and slid back into it.

I am sure I make no sense, I don’t mind.

I am working on a commercial today, as a body painter. I retired. Now I am not retired. Retiring is not as easy as it sounds. Little by little it has been chipped away until there is no retirement left. I am a body painter again. For today, at least, and a couple of days in december, and a couple of days in january. Who knows what more. I must confess to being nervous. I have not been on a film set for 8 years, unless it has been my own. I woke at 4am with jet leg, I suppose, and have lain there for an hour repeating I Am. The nervousness subsided and I feel fine now. All is ready, except I don’t imagine that I have the right personality for the film industry any more. I will be good. Be quiet. Not answer back and do as I am told. Such fun.

This is a version order, the film industry. Men with big bellies full of bacon and eggs, women scuttling around wishing they were like the men, but cannot stomach the required eating. The pecking order, the hierarchy. The system that one has to slot oneself into and not rise above or fall below your station. It is a wonderfully archaic system of rules, masochism, arse licking and desperate climbing. I have not missed it for a moment. I am interested to see what it is like so many years on.