It is a strange ambition, I know, but one that has tailed me for a while.
Happily for my children and my husband I am able to let it be a thing for the future, but it came up again twice yesterday in conversations.
I love the idea of being able to provide simple death ceremony; willow and hand carved or painted coffins and a place where the emotional experience of the death of friends or family is acknowledged.
I have no idea why I feel I can make a difference, hence the lack of any steps towards actually realising the idea. A friend wants to turn a shop she has into a funeral parlour and offered it to me. What made her offer, I have no idea, and I had not mentioned it to her.
But I bring it up now because the new au pair is delightful. Totally charming. Hates my cooking, and lives on deep fried eggs, but a real gift none the less. She is strong, determined, focussed, speaks good English and deals with the children really well.
She has one strange thing, which I get disturbed by because I used to be the same.
I came down at 4.30am the other day to work and her light was on. The same the next morning, but with strangely repetitive music playing. I asked her if she was insomniac and she replied no, she slept really well. So why the music and the lights? (Which are on now, too.) She is scared of the dark because she sees spirits and her parents used to take her to psychiatrists because they did not believe her. I asked if she had seen anything here, but she had not. She is terrified by Amoras. They are the ones that sit on you and you cannot breath or move. Apparently there are lots in Macedonia.
I used to be like that. Never able to sleep with out light and sound to drown the awareness of the slightest sounds. I had hearing that I could make snake itself extremely far away from me. I would wake at the slightest hint and then I could magnify the sound, send my attention out of my body and see what it was.
I did it for years, and since learning how not to do it and to pull the etheric tentacles back in, I think that my hearing is now too sensitive because of so many years of straining.
The link with funerals being the death and spirit thing. Which surprising numbers of people are now finding they are conscious of having a gift with. But there is a real lack of understanding as to how the spirits get stuck and what can be done.
I wonder if this gift is part of the new emerging consciousness that so many are writing about. Take a look at www.wie.org it is a magazine called What is Enlightenment. A strangely make environment where the new consciousness is propounded. I thought it would be an interesting place to advertise Devotion so I called the office and spoke to a woman called Terri. She was delightfully chatty and so I asked her why there were so few women in the magazine. (The front cover is covered n small images of Ä¶.. saints, speakers, spiritual teachers, only two out of fifty are female.) Apparently there are no women with an expanded conscience.
Sweet. Especially from another women.