The build up

510

We are days away from the next round of filming. I am not too nervous. I have chosen all the yoga sets and meditations; we have an Italian Ice Cream seller coming to help us today. He is from Sicily and we met him in the park last week. Funny how occasionally there are people that just come across as the right person at the right time. He was great. So much so that we took his number and he now agrees to be involved in setting up.

I have a huge list of things still to be done but it is happening. The new au pair came on Monday. We met her on Monday morning, talked for a few hours with her and she moved in on Monday evening. She is delightful and really helpful, but I think she smokes in her room. I have to deal with that this morning and ask her to do “it” outside. Coming down early in the morning the smell is not good.

But, she is having a profound effect on my time management and in terms of the house becoming a film studio next week I am ready.

I am still writing the article I wrote about last time. I am not too quick at the moment, but also the topic, on Sacred Spaces, does need some thought and the thoughts about how much fear we surround ourselves with is quite staggering. The huge amounts of stress, too. I went along a line of thought yesterday, imagining how my life would be if I got rid of the things, the experiences in my life that cause me stress. I managed to come up with quite a list, including the need to earn money, the need to eat, travel, and the house…… And then I went further and thought how the drive to do well, the drive to earn money, is a way of creating a buffer zone around us that hopefully will protect us from the experiences of life. And yet it is the experiences of real life that make us grow and expand and become compassionate.
I read something the other day, I forget where, and it was talking about how pushing elderly relatives into care homes robs us of the experiences that build compassion and understanding of life’s processes. I am not longing to look after my family in their old age, but I can see the point. I remember visiting my Grandmother a lot as she was dying and the sharp and close reality of her age and the closeness of death was a big experience at the time. I thought so much about all that I wanted and desired and how in the end there is just the waiting. Given that one dies of old age. I miss my grandmother sometimes. Sad how you don’t see what you have until I is not there. And also interesting how you see so much more when they are gone.