All quiet


It is all quiet here. The whole house seems dark and still. I woke up at 5 and it felt like 3 in the morning, the sitting room is ready, all hung with black and carpets, the cameras are waiting to pounce, but everyone is fast asleep and there is just a blanket of stillness. It is the calm before the storm. By 9am there will be around 18 people here and calm will not apply. I want to stay calm.
I fell nervous, now, but it is manageable. I am just about to go to the flower market.
We have chosen big topics, HIV/AIds and Hepatitis C for the next round of filming. Weighty and huge, the research has been sad and sobering. Rather like reading Schindler’s List in a way. I remeber having the courage to take it on in India and it had a deep and profound effect upon me. Learning more about these two illnesses has been the same. At times I have been in tears over things that have been disclosed to me about living with HIV/AIDS longterm. I feel immense pressure to make sure I do a really good job. Hence this strange moment in the house. TIme to gather my thoughts before the show.
I was thinking how much easier it would be if we could fillm in a studio. If we could go out of here. I would only have to think about filming, nothing else to do with the house, but it saves thousands of pounds to be here and I really hope I can stay still and calm, albeit a little nervous.