Bows and boys

591

Life goes on at this alarmingly relaxing pace. Sun, swim, eat, sun, swim, sleep. There is a lot of eating too and therefore much cooking. The French idea of vegetarian is to throw in a few prawns. I nearly gagged on a salad yesterday having clearly ascertained that it contained no fish, meat or chicken, only to find crustaceans curled on the parmesan cheese shavings. I suppose it is the height of elegance and I have no taste…

I just returned from London with a few days of really hard work restoring the shop to it’s usual glory. The sale ended on Saturday and the new stock arrives in a couple of weeks, so all had to be moved around, labelled, priced and made to look absolutely fabulous. l am really looking forward to seeing the marble, wood, bronze etc. Sadly it is all on it’s way, rather than actually docked, but the first 200kgs landed this last weekend.

The idea of having a holiday with two small children always proves to be very different to the reality of the experience. It may be the energy of the house which renders them incapable of doing anything alone, without an audience or in silence. They have discovered the music to Moulin Rouge and the Rocky Horror Show, playing certain tracks endlessly, and I suddenly have enormous compassion for all that my parents went through and at times fervently wish I was a better person.

I find this fervent wish has eased a little recently. It used to be my least favourite feeling in the whole gamut of human feeling, the low self esteem, self hatred and lowness of it all, but time has honed it into an acceptance of myself and an awareness that I must try harder. Nice change, I must confess. There is little more loathsome than self-loathing. And yet it is one of the most challenging states to alter. Something, somewhere, is finally working. How tiresome it would be if it was just age. It would mean that all the effort meant nothing and I would have got here just by sitting back and waiting.

Baptiste made a bow for Louis this morning. He is an excellent shot and the Dangerous Book for Boys has a really good page on archery. They are now crashing through the bamboo looking for bits to make into bows. Then Louis wants another hair cut. A boy was here today with a cut that Louis envies and has asked for, so it is my job to come up with the goods. Not my favourite thing, cutting hair, Especially my son’s. Not because it has never been cut, but it is so straight and heavy and has to be really well cut! Arghh!