Because we are not worth it any more

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We have all aged gloriously thanks to L’Oreal telling us we are “Worth It”. But sadly, this is no longer my reality. Nor yours, I would bet. We are being stripped down, in the freezing cold, to nothing more than who we are and it is an unpleasant and unfriendly experience which is being hastily covered up by the fake care of excessive Health & Safety regulations.

Personally, I am not “lovin’ it “ very much. I have never had to dig quite so deeply into my tool box as I do now, on a daily basis, scrabbling around for the next gimmick to distract my mind away from the thoughts of Global meltdown and all the other joys that the media cycle through, endlessly. Do I sound dramatic? I certainly feel it at times.

I drive each day, a journey one way that is filled with children and loud music, the other way, along Clapham Common, is not dissimilar to crossing MI Road in Jaipur: a dice with the certain demise of someone. Cyclists with death wishes swerve everywhere; the darkness making them hard to anticipate, but the both these journeys are times when I can be far more challenged by my thoughts. They drop so fast on long lines down into my darkest fears, they swing perilously close to the cliffs and peaks that make up my jumbled worst scenarios, they totter on the brink of imminent disaster and every morning I sit back and watch myself torture me.

I suppose I have to admit that I have learned such an amazing amount over the past year. About myself, economics, politics, the mind, the tools, other people, banks… the list is long. In this respect I am really happy, but why does it have to be so painful? The endless duality of existence whilst sober is somewhat exhausting.

On a lighter note, I managed to distract myself away from the world’s demise by taking on a mammoth photo shoot for three days. 4000 images were take of all the new clothes. I was one of the models, the make up artist, photographer, assistant, retoucher and managed only to escape the ironing. But it is looking good and I emerged from the full-on experience to blink at the snow on Monday.

The collective expressions of joy and laughter that emerged over the two days in London was a wonderful thing to behold. The coming together of kids, people, snow and a release from all the tension that has been wound up inside us all was such a great and positive experience.