I am charging through my life at an alarming speed today, hindered only by long traffic jams and drivers who refuse to get out of my way.
I donÄôt know quite how it has happened, but suddenly time is tiny and tasks are huge.
I have spent the past month with minor stresses; what to make for lunch, which beach to go to, what to wear etc. I am now back, full-blown in my life and I confess that I really had forgotten how stressed I can get. It is alarming, to say the least. And then to read that Anita Roddick has died just makes it all seem very pointless.
She worked tirelessly for years to build her business. Ethical, open, fair trade, etc, sold out for a large amount of money which she was starting to do great things with, and is now she is dead. Struggle with Hep C over. Another one on the list of deaths from a horrible, silent killer.
I ma going to India tomorrow. This is adding to the sense of roaring. The desire to achieve all on my list, pack, be a lovely Mummy, host the Snatam Concert tonight and run a shop is creating a fair amount of short-circuiting inside and the real trick is remembering to stop, take a deep breath and smile.
There. I have just done so and it does help. Remembering to pick up the tools is step one. Now the trick is to find a way never to have to put them down again.
We were talking about this yesterday. There are so many Äúenlightened beingsÄù out there telling us that it is all inside us and we need to only look that far. I have said it myself. I do not give myself the quote marks but have many times written about how we just need to turn inwards.
There is a flaw, now. Yes. We now know that it is inside and can look there, meet it, spend glorious moments, minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, a day in that wonderful, blissful space. But we have to leave it. Our attachments, our resistance, life, children, traffic, money, food. All these things take us out of the bliss and then we forget that we knew all was perfect.
I think the only acceptable teaching now is how to stay there. How to let the stress slide off, how to resist the negative response, the anger, the irritation. Can I teach that right now? I am not sure, but I can see that it has to be the way forward.
Use the tools. Know that it is all perfect and use the tools. Breathe, smile, be positive, accept. I am telling myself as much as anyone else.
I just used them again.
It is slowing down