I am behaving well, as a yoga teacher. It is quite a novel experience. I usually do some stretching and then go into a meditation. So make the best of the new DVDs we are producing I am trying out a new yoga set and meditation every day. It is surprising how much I am enjoying it. We are not fast, Baptiste and I, and some of the sets are long, so my usual routine of working in the morning has been tipped on its side. It is also a great pleasure to spend time together on the pursuit of one’s connection to the infinite.
The set this morning was for inner anger. I am currently looking at anger. Interesting subject. I am working towards being able to stop my anger response. That and irritation. The irritated response. It is a question of choosing and giving up the control that one feels one has with anger. We both have permission to comment on when the other is being angry, irritated or impatient. It is an interesting permit, as the agreement means that the person who has had their behaviour noticed from that place has to calm down. That is deeply challenging, but also a lesson in letting go.
Anger is so fascinating to watch as it mainly comes from the idea that it should all be as you want it to be and there is no other way. If one chooses to let go and let it be how it is without needing to control, then acceptance emerges. Life is so much easier with acceptance. There is a difference between acceptance and resignation and here the difference needs to be noticed. Resignation is being a victim. Acceptance is neutral.
Also if the partner is angry, my person response is to rise in anger to meet. If one lets the anger be there, but does not meet it, there is no wind in the sail. The anger becomes deflated and a mirroring occurs. The angry person is left holding an extreme and controlling response to the situation and is uncomfortable.
I want to understand more, so am currently working on letting go. I fail frequently, but it is the peeling of the onion that is such fun. Why have a Kundalini Experience given by another when you can have so much fun exploring the rise by yourself?
I am sure that the need to look at my anger will dissipate with the arrival of the new au pair. Working full time and children crammed into home together is a good place to research negative responses to life! The new au pair wants to be a nurse in the army. I feel she will be up to the task of living in this house. We shall see.