I have been in Paris for a industry show. It was warm and sunny, there was a strike (which is now no longer a strike it is a social movement) on the trains through the city and I stayed with a friend and oh, it was a pleasure.
I took the Eurostar at 5.30am, amazed by how many people there were there so early, and after dropping my bag, found my way to the Exposition Hall. Huge, huge buildings, 5 enormous halls with thousands of people all dressed in black. A rising and falling sea of black everywhere.
The day was long and time seemed to be standing still as I walked the aisles and aisles of cloth, ribbons, colour charts, fake fur, suiting… it was amazing and I learned so much that I did not know.
The hardest part of the whole thing was me. My mind. Surrounded by the sea of black outside of me I also peaked and troughed through tunnels and avenues of darkness inside my self. Moments of calm followed by my thoughts karate chopping each other to see who could create more internal agony. It was quite astounding. I refused to go there, telling myself I will be fine, and then another crashing wall of fear landed and I was lost again, struggling to rise above my mind and calm myself down.
I think that for me, financial insecurity is one of the most unmanageable fears. I have had it all my life and still cannot just sit back and laugh at the insanity of my reaction to my thoughts.
All of this has led me to seriously look at what I am teaching. I have decided that a course on managing the mind is the way forward. As they always say: You have to teach what you need to know.
Here I go.