A mountain of decisions.


I am surrounded by garment samples, pattern samples, colour charts, drawings and endless decisions.

I lie awake at night thinking about what I am doing, will it work, is it enough, are the colours right, the sizes…. Questions, questions.

I have really nothing else to do here but this and it goes so slowly, leaving me so much time to mull over my choices, and I spent all of Saturday sitting and working and did the same yesterday apart form a brief sortie out for lunch which was dire and awful.

I had been invited by the man I had met the few days before. I was extremely na?Øve in thinking he had no designs on my person. Lunch was with his wife, and I painfully and quickly saw that I was a trophy and being used. She was chilly and rude in the extreme which was understandable and unpleasant. Added to that, the lunch was disgusting, so I made my excuses and left, spending the rest of the day and evening moving between soothing my damaged ego (because I had been so stupid,) and trying to make choices about styles, colours, patterns and numbers.

There was a monsoon deluge yesterday. The sky was dark and heavy and then the weight burst it open. The rain fell in huge, wet drops. It always seems so much wetter that UK rain. We drove with the window open and a car passing at high speed threw are great curtain of water over both the driver and I. It was very funny and luckily we both had our mouths shut at the time.

The hotel where I stay is at the lower part of Jaipur and the road up into town is really badly rutted and broken. Last night I saw why; it was a river of water. So deep and fast flowing it was great fun to see all the rickshaws and bikes making their way through it. Anyone on foot or on the rickshaws was totally sodden, water running of them in rivers. The entrance to the hotel was a swollen lake.

This morning it is all bright, innocent and clear.