45 days of a long meditation


We started it yesterday. It is not hard, just long. But today it felt hard. I could not still my mind for 35 minutes and then when I finally went to where I had been trying to get all along, there were only a few minutes left. The 45 day thing is challenging. It is always fab on the very first, then it descends into the pits for a while and then slowly comes around to being a pleasure. it is as if one has to be tested to see the committment. To be shown just how crazy the mind can be, so you know, really know what it is you are up against. So I went all over the place. I thought about the whale, about money, about work, the children. Meandering through my life, taking an overview of things whilst repeating a mantra, holding a hand position, looking at my chin and focussing on my thrid eye.
The sensations after were worth the trip. So delightful. Sitting there, floating through the heavens. I did not want to move or open my eyes.
Then the usual tuesday morning yoga class at 6am which no one comes to . It is a good class, I do like it, but this morning, having started so early, I am now here instead of doing more yoga.