Welcome to Carolyn Cowan Online; Designer, photographer, teacher, mother, counsellor and bodypainter.
Archive for September, 2009
Many days have passed since I last wrote and I have had so many experiences. Pretty much all of them have been great. Lots of learning curves, even in the darkest times, and still the impetus to keep moving forward continues.
I like September. I think it must be ingrained since childhood to feel this month is a time to change, a time to re-adjust and to do things anew. After several weeks away I have had time to reflect on where I am and what I want. I can now implement changes and move forward on an altered course.
For several years I have found it hard to have a long term plan. I suppose it is partly because of having young children and starting a business. It takes all one’s energy to nurse the two different growths. But the children are getting more independent and the business is sitting comfortably so it is time to check the horizon.
As I look around me, friends, people moving past my life and sometimes through it, the media and the challenges we are all facing now it seems to me that life has changed and will not return to what we thought it would be. It, too, has veered sideways and now requires a new map.
Life is fast, intense and somewhat unforgiving. The endless commercialism we are all labouring under and the pressures put upon us all by terrorism, the media, the governments and our own longings mean that we need to be endlessly resourceful and strong to take on the next few years. We need a large quiver of tools at our disposal to muster ourselves to stand firm and clear, open and straight, to be able to achieve our ambitions.
It is either that or loose ourselves completely in the morass of excess which, for a while, can numb all pain, fear and longing. The endless games of addiction to the massive range of behaviours and substances hold thrall over many of us now and it serves the big wheel of business, commerce and governance.
So it would seem there are two routes: Present or not.
I know which one I have been walking along for a while and although it does not get clearer, it is a path filled with hope and learning. I like this path as it suits my endlessly expanding and enquiring nature. It does take courage and commitment, it does mean taking personal responsibility for myself at all times which I do tend to rail against but I can put my hand on my heart and say that it is totally worth the effort and although it feels like a permanently uphill climb I notice that I get fitter and more mentally stable as I progress through the experience.
What are the new tools? Personal practice, a sense of humour, compassion, patience, positive thinking and remembering to breathe.Posted in
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