Archive for March, 2009

  • The huge leap

    Watching oneself is all very well, but if you have an emotional response to watching then you are like a dog chasing its’ tail.

    Think of it like this: you are observing your thoughts passing in front of your minds’ eye, one after the other then… oh, look at that thought about my childhood. Gosh, I had forgotten that. It was hard/sad/depressing/frightening etc. Slowly, almost imperceptibly you have stopped watching the thoughts float past like bouncy clouds but are being taken over and basted in your memories and your emotional response to them. Quietly, almost stealthily, feelings arise. Sadness, fear, anger, loss, grief, depression or all manner of others, and you now find yourself fully dressed in your history and it’s attendant emotions. You are no longer a functioning adult, you are a child in pain in an adult body. Big Argh!

    This is how it happens, but it needs to be stressed that most of the time it happens without you or me noticing. Emotional drama creeps up and the day is trashed. The feelings leach into this reality and then pour all over whatever experience comes up next in the day.

    We need to come back to the original act of watching the thoughts. The mind is a tricky and wily beast. It knows that you are trying to change how you behave. It can sense that you are taking steps towards behaving differently so, like a chameleon, it changes and adapts to your new reality. The bouncy little clouds of your thoughts send our barbed hooks to catch you unawares and drag you along in the breeze behind them, to embroil you in their wake and eventually brew up a storm, with you as the eye, so quickly that you did not feel the sting as you were snagged in passing.

    How does this affect the watching? The mind is very invested in pain and stress. It loves it. The mind feeds on fear and stress and will do all it can to generate those feelings. If you can remember this fact then it affects how you observe yourself.

    An example: Last night I received an email that I did enjoy. It had news that was not what I had wanted to read at the end of a long day. Five minutes later I was in a meeting and started to feel fearful, cold inside, uncomfortable. My mind had taken this information and quietly inflated it, I had gone into the future with my thoughts and turned it into something huge and unpleasant and imperceptibly I was wrapped in my mind’s projections and not a fully functioning adult.

    The huge leap is that I could trace the feeling of fear back to the source. I could then look at the train of thoughts that had accumulated without me really being aware of them. The next part was trickier… I then had to unwrap myself from my feelings, my self pity, my depression and my insecurity and put these feelings down and return to being a functioning adult. I had to let go of the drama and all its’ consequences, I had to grow up, and I did. I managed to smile at my mind for the first time, to see it as the naughty child, not me. If only I had been able to let the thought pass me by in the first place.

    Endless practice.

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  • Tricky times, desperate measures

    I read a book a while ago called Who Dies. It was in a book list by Ruby Wax who had said that she was always fearful of life and that this book had transformed that fear. I had to read it and now it is in my book list because it gives an amazing view of what we go through. There is one sentence that profoundly affected me. It still does: Hell is your resistance. I had an epiphany after reading that line.

    I resist. I resist endlessly, all the time. I want my reality to be different. An example of long-term resistance… I hated my body when I was younger. I wanted it to be slimmer, a flat stomach, thinner ankles. Now, I would adore that body, the one that I tried to crawl out of for years. But I am still doing it. Now I don’t want to be in this one. I wish it were younger, firmer, flatter. I resist, I resist.

    In this present experience of reality I resist the news, I resist the banks, I want the financial experiences to be different, I wish I were rich and had no problems. In truth I know that if I had a better body, if the news were all positive and I was rich I would be wanting something else.

    So the art is to come to terms with every moment of this reality. How can I do that if I am straddled over now with one leg in my history and the other firmly planted in my future fears and projections? I cannot. It is impossible.

    So I came neatly back to the basics.

    I watch my thoughts. I see them floating across my mind. Sometimes they are fast and panicked, sometimes they are sticky and slow, sometimes sneaky and wily. I see them and I try to be amused by them, like watching a monkey with it’s hand around a treat in a coconut. I cannot always make the separation but it is becoming easier. I watch and little by little I learn to make no judgement of the thought. This needs explaining: I can think about something like this morning my mind turned to my friend’s dog being put down last week. I went with him, it was painful, emotionally, I fear the pain of loss and I was upset by the experience. Glad to have been there, but still affected. Thinking it over this morning as I ran I felt the pain, I began to feel sad. I could feel myself becoming taken over by my thoughts. It was hard to extricate myself from the feelings because they had taken hold of me, but eventually I was able to smile at myself and how I had trashed 10 minutes of my alone time by letting my mind loose on a thought.

    If I wake in the night my thoughts are like a car crash. So fast that I barely notice, I find myself thinking of really scary and stressful things. In the dark these thoughts are magnified, fed, watered and shooting all over the place. Very quickly I have huge levels of adrenalin in my body and there is no way I will sleep for hours.

    I have become bored by this. I need my sleep and do not want my nights taken over in this way so I now have strategies to deal with an addict’s mind.
    I watch it happen. I slow down my breath. I lie still and relax my mind. I say the serenity prayer and then I just tell myself “no stress, no fear:. I seem to be able to go straight back to sleep after this. Over time it has become a habit and I now sleep really well, have no hard times in the night and can fall into a deep sleep really quickly.

    So the overall theory is to make distance between your real self and the mean and nasty mind. To watch the mind as though it was a dangerous bull charging around and to put a fence up that states Stay Out There. To give edges to the mind. This does take practice and I have written in the I form to show what I do and how it works. It is about managing the ego which wants the drama, wants to be right, wants to trawl through resentments and history and being able to let it all drop. Take away the power and from that place there is peace. Really, there is. That place is the beginning of enlightenment. It is the space within which consciousness can flower. From here the mind is a great tool to pick up and use when needed and then to lay away once it’s work is done.

    The art is to let it. One good death of a thought is not enough. Constant vigilance is needed to make enough space for the soul to expand, to widen and deepen enough for it to become a preferable place to spend time than with the gorging mind; endlessly dribbling, drooling and feasting on pain, fear, stress and resentment.

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  • Stepping out

    The news is a relentlessly hideous experience best avoided except that I am an addict and I get a sabotaging thrill out of the adrenalin rush plus as a shopkeeper I feel I should be aware of what is going on, given the speed of it all. Reading Flat Earth News is helping..

    I have been reading Ekhart Tolle for about 11 years. He wrote a wonderful book called Practising the Power of Now. It is a dog-eared and dog eaten bible for me. I endlessly refer to it, read passages, pick it up, look through and think that I am getting it.

    But I am not.

    I went back to page one the other day. There are pieces that start from here that do not appear to have made it into the rest of the text. I have been missing them out of my current reality until this last week and these tiny little processes are making a triumphant difference.

    So my stress levels are not too bad, I have felt far worse over the years, dealing with near death experiences, real death, childbirth and getting sober. The current experiences come in lower on the scale, I have to say, but I suppose I feel that I ought to know better by now. I thought I would have mastered things and be on a straight ribbon of still mind, calm thoughts and acceptance. But it is not so. I am able to manage my mind at night, I do not think about anything stressful even when I wake at 3am. But now stress has surged into my daily reality. The mind is a mean thing. Sneaky and perverse, it constantly catches me when I am not aware and this is exactly the parts that I have not followed form the practice at the beginning of this aforementioned book.

    Do not judge your thoughts. How can it be so tricky? Up until now I have been watching my thoughts and letting my reaction trash my day.
    Ha! The big secret that I seem to have missed for years. Why would I not judge them? Is that not what they are for? My new and interesting experience is to leave them be, not judge or react, but come strongly into right now. To feel my feet in my shoes, the breath in my lungs and the air on my face. Smile, stand straight and become totally present to the moment.

    It is going well, though, and does make a difference to my acceptance and ideas about Hell.

    It is working, but am I being an ostrich? Will some appalling version of reality suddenly come and bite me in the back because I have not been worrying about it?

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  • How to Lower Your Stress Levels

    In these highly challenging times, tackling our stress levels becomes a priority. Fear and projection can cause havoc with our mind, body and spirit. We start to imagine all manner of crisis emerging in our minds and very quickly reality is clouded with fear, adrenalin and stress and there is no perception of right now.

    I have made a list of the 25 things that I find really do help me on a daily basis. I do not do them all at once, nor do I do them every day. The trick is to recognise that the stress is addictive, it is not serving you now and although it can be used to gain sympathy abd as an excuse not to relate and to isolate it is very damaging to our health in the long-term.

    The list below is good for short and long term stress related experiences and issues. Print it and see what works for you.

    1. The Minute breath: Sit comfortably, preferably with the eyes closed but it is not essential. Inhale 20 seconds, hold 20 seconds, exhale 20 seconds.
    This focus on the breath and the length of the breath brings calm and peace as well as raising the oxygen levels in the body.

    2. Reduce your caffeine intake. Caffeine constricts the blood vessels in the body and puts us in a state of stress. Cheat by having decaff if it is the feeling of comfort that you like.

    3. Sleep 8 hours a night minimum. A good long sleep allows the body time to repair and renew itself.

    4. Take strenuous exercise 5 times a week. Running, swimming, power walking, cycling and yoga are good options. This will elevate your hormone levels and your fitness level bringing a feeling of empowerment.

    5. Eat lightly at night and preferably not 3 hours before bed. Eating late at night is very heavy on the body during sleep.

    6. Laugh as much as possible. Try this for inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF4qii8S3gw

    7. Massage your feet regularly. This grounds you. Use a light oil if you can, but in an emergency through your socks is fine. Use quite a strong pressure to bring energy down into the body.

    8. Have a cold shower first thing in the morning. It creates a hormonal rush that clears out the system and elevates you.

    9. Avoid watching or reading the News. The elevated stress hormones brought in by the images and projections make for a bad night’s sleep.

    10. Have a hot bath with a few drops of Lavender in the water last thing at night. This will relax all of the body and aid restful sleep.

    11. Try the Inner Smile. Imagine every organ of your body, one after the other, smiling

    12. Focus your mind on a mantra when the going gets tough. Wah Hey Guru is a good one, it means “ecstasy through consciousness”.

    13. Bring your attention to the present moment. Everything is always fine right now. It is the future that creates the internal drama.

    14. If you wake up in the night use a mantra or prayer to stop traumatic thinking. Hand your stress over to whatever you believe in as a Higher Power. The Lord’s Prayer is good, so is the Serenity Prayer:
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

    15. Drink a glass of water to release emotional stress.

    16. Block your right nostril and breathe long and slowly through the left for 15 breaths.

    17. Up your intake of fresh, green vegetables and fruits. Reduce your levels of pre-made foods such as take-aways and sandwiches. Reduce your intake of red meat.

    18. Stretch all of your body, particularly the spine, before breakfast each day.

    19. Stop watching violent films and stop reading violent or depressing books.

    20. Ask yourself, whilst feeling stressed, if your stressful thought pattern is helpful. The answer is no. Tell yourself it is safe to stop it, let it do and think differently. Bring in a positive thought.

    21. When you feel overwhelmed sooth yourself by stepping into the stress related thoughts and saying soothing words like “Everything is fine, we are going to get through this, I can handle this, right now all is fine, I am taking care of it all and we will be fine”.

    22. Become aware of your thinking. Separate from the labyrinth of your mind and watch your thoughts as you would watch a movie. Once you can see your thoughts as they arise you can catch and deal with the negative thinking. At first it may seem a little strange but it gets easier with practice.

    23. Feel your body, the skin, the pressure of your feet on the floor, the sensitivity of your nervous system, the blood moving through your body. When you are totally aware of your physical body you cannot think. It is very relaxing and can be used as a meditation.

    24. If the stress is overwhelming, find a place on your own and inhale deeply then make a loud screaming sound from your belly as you exhale. Three times is good.

    25. Sing. Sing along with your favourite song, a mantra, an opera. Anything to get the lungs opened, the heart rate up, your body warmed and your mood lifted. If singing does it for you then think about joining a choir, a jazz club, an amateur opera or theatre company…

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  • 25 ways to reduce stress levels

    1. The Minute breath: Sit comfortably, preferably with the eyes closed but it is not essential. Inhale 20 seconds, hold 20 seconds, exhale 20 seconds.
    This focus on the breath and the length of the breath brings calm and peace as well as raising the oxygen levels in the body.

    2. Reduce your caffeine intake. Caffeine constricts the blood vessels in the body and puts us in a state of stress. Cheat by having decaff if it is the feeling of comfort that you like.

    3. Sleep 8 hours a night minimum. A good long sleep allows the body time to repair and renew itself.

    4. Take strenuous exercise 5 times a week. Running, swimming, power walking, cycling and yoga are good options. This will elevate your hormone levels and your fitness level bringing a feeling of empowerment.

    5. Eat lightly at night and preferably not 3 hours before bed. Eating late at night is very heavy on the body during sleep.

    6. Laugh as much as possible. Try this for inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF4qii8S3gw

    7. Massage your feet regularly. This grounds you. Use a light oil if you can, but in an emergency through your socks is fine. Use quite a strong pressure to bring energy down into the body.

    8. Have a cold shower first thing in the morning. It creates a hormonal rush that clears out the system and elevates you.

    9. Avoid watching or reading the News. The elevated stress hormones brought in by the images and projections make for a bad night’s sleep.

    10. Have a hot bath with a few drops of Lavender in the water last thing at night. This will relax all of the body and aid restful sleep.

    11. Try the Inner Smile. Imagine every organ of your body, one after the other, smiling

    12. Focus your mind on a mantra when the going gets tough. Wah Hey Guru is a good one, it means “ecstasy through consciousness”.

    13. Bring your attention to the present moment. Everything is always fine right now. It is the future that creates the internal drama.

    14. If you wake up in the night use a mantra or prayer to stop traumatic thinking. Hand your stress over to whatever you believe in as a Higher Power. The Lord’s Prayer is good, so is the Serenity Prayer:
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

    15. Drink a glass of water to release emotional stress.

    16. Block your right nostril and breathe long and slowly through the left for 15 breaths.

    17. Up your intake of fresh, green vegetables and fruits. Reduce your levels of pre-made foods such as take-aways and sandwiches. Reduce your intake of red meat.

    18. Stretch all of your body, particularly the spine, before breakfast each day.

    19. Stop watching violent films and stop reading violent or depressing books.

    20. Ask yourself, whilst feeling stressed, if your stressful thought pattern is helpful. The answer is no. Tell yourself it is safe to stop it, let it do and think differently. Bring in a positive thought.

    21. When you feel overwhelmed sooth yourself by stepping into the stress related thoughts and saying soothing words like “Everything is fine, we are going to get through this, I can handle this, right now all is fine, I am taking care of it all and we will be fine”.

    22. Become aware of your thinking. Separate from the labyrinth of your mind and watch your thoughts as you would watch a movie. Once you can see your thoughts as they arise you can catch and deal with the negative thinking. At first it may seem a little strange but it gets easier with practice.

    23. Feel your body, the skin, the pressure of your feet on the floor, the sensitivity of your nervous system, the blood moving through your body. When you are totally aware of your physical body you cannot think. It is very relaxing and can be used as a meditation.

    24. If the stress is overwhelming, find a place on your own and inhale deeply then make a loud screaming sound from your belly as you exhale. Three times is good.

    25. Sing. Sing along with your favourite song, a mantra, an opera. Anything to get the lungs opened, the heart rate up, your body warmed and your mood lifted. If singing does it for you then think about joining a choir, a jazz club, an amateur opera or theatre company…

    Posted in
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