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Archive for January, 2007
Lessons in how to be fabulous and calm all the time, number….? Oppps! I have lost count.
I am discovering that I can get very stressed about shutters. It surprises me. It is not what I thought would trip me up, but it is endless dramas and indescision and mind changes and problems. I will not go into it now, I promise, but wow, what a murky place it is. I am wondering if I would be calmer being held up in a bank or robbed at gunpoint. Funny how the mind works. I have to stop at times and take long deep breaths and MAKE myself calm. It works, but remembering it is possible is a huge step in the battle. Possible to be calm, I mean, not that shuttering is possible.
I know that it will happen. We will open, there will be shutters. When is the question out there, eluding all grasping and attempts at capture.
Otherwise the very delightful Raymond turned up to fit the alarm today. Charm, personified. As was the delightful man from “grants” at the council. What a mind! Lots of 4′s, I bet. It was a long conversation. Again, I will not go into it. But frustration rules. Luckily we have been doing a properity meditation for a few days so I feel I am building some back-up.
Is it a global warming thing that snow is now noisy? I was stunned this morning by the s0und, the cracking sound, of snow falling. Sadly it has not stayed.
Things are getting somewhat hectic here. Life is roaring along at a staggering pace. Dreams are vivid, laughter is loud, crises are intense. Every thing is bigger, brighter, scarier. But of course one gets used to it. That is the strange thing. It settles and becomes the norm.
I have found a beacon of light in the murky world of shuttering. Thankfully. It was all getting rather tiresome and overwhelmingly laddish, but Mick has come along and saved us. Perfect attention to detail, pointing out things that no one else has noticed and finally we have made a descision and we can go ahead.
I now need a carpenter. Suggestions please.
Like a sequel to a film, I am back in the saddle again, again. Life whirls past with it’s tongue hanging out. Even Isadora said how quickly time went past yesterday. Is it really speeding up? It looks so calm and still right now, covered in snow. One cannot imagine anything happening quickly out there. But it will melt into grubby slush, pushed to the side of the road to make way for the speed of life again.
The whole point is to get to a place of being “fine” whatever is going on. I know this, but can I do it? Ha! No where near yet. Take yesterday, for example. Lots of yoga and pranayama, laughing with the children in the morning, then to work and the pressure builds, and builds, and builds up. So much to do, so little time, silly niggly problems that leap in the way, and by 5pm I am lightly frazzled. In tears, in fact. Where is the calm yogic self? I got a lot done, certainly, but as I lay there, falling asleep, I was thinking about how I will die. I know, I know, but these thoughts do not bother me, and I decided that at this rate it will be a heart attack. That is not my chosen route back, so I better do some more meditation. Although as I considered the whole thing further I thought that my vegetarian diet is not conducive to a heart attack….no cholesterol, or very little, any way.
I ramble therefore I will yoga.
I have been trying to get to write weblog for the past week, having returned from India last Sunday. I have not had the time. Both the kids have had really bad jet lag and 4am was the getting up time for the first few days. This morning I thought I could get away with it, getting up at five, but no. I have spent ages lying on the floor cuddling and giggling with two happy babies. Well, not so much babies, but impy things.
India was great. Huge and smelly and very full. We had great fun, although the shopping was a bit big. Buying for a shop is very different to buying for a website. Sometimes the numbers were huge. Lots of deep breaths and trust in a higher power than ourselves. We shall see…..
It was White Tantric Yoga on Saturday. That was really good. Very sweet and soft. That includes the description of Sat Simran, the facilitator, who has been known to be quite far from sweet and soft. Business was good too.
Today is the big shutter descision day. I have entered the murky world of shopfronts. It is murky indeed. Banhams quoted ¬£9500 for the shuttering and the other end is ¬£2400. I am not going for the new quotes today and will decide from there. We cannot do anything until the shuttering is in place in terms of filling the shop. Such fun.